Top Tips – Phrasebook
Looking for a title for your Cambodian-English phrasebook of aggressive language?I am able to offer this suggestion at no cost to yourself: Kymer and say that
Top Tips – Cleaning
Tropical or summer garments foxed with Santorum?Then simply soak in a solution of two parts Abysmaloid powder to 100 beakers of Dr Gingrich’s personal reflux water. The garment will immediately be returned to its earlier state of sanctity.
Little-known facts: Nutrition
Modern medical practitioners are well aware of the importance of a stodgy diet, supplemented with roughly equal parts of the three major food types, Amyloids, Glactoids, and Putrate of Lead.
The first two can be obtained, as we all know. by repeatedly knawing at a raw turnip, or gourd. However, other than Abysmaloid Powder, there are few easily digestible sources of Putrate of Lead, and the violent fizzing and offensive fumes when mixed with cold tea make ingesting the Powder a challenge for the elderly.
However it has recently been found that mulched cardboard from Amazon packaging, can when steeped in Dr Henderson’s Sauternes Extract, provide a tasty and convenient alternative.
Was ist der Käse Davy-Junge?
Leute fragen mich oft: "Was ist der Käse in der Hand Davy-Junge?"
Antworte ich gewöhnlich:
- Das ist kein Käse
- Das ist nicht meine Hand
- Das ist nicht meine Hand
- Leider bin ich nicht Davy Junge. Ich bin Herman. Davy-boy ist dort drüben, neben dem Käse.
- Nun, Ulrich, das ist ein Stück alten Gouda. Warten Sie eine Sekunde, während ich es abwaschen meinen Händen.
Ich bin gleichgültig, ob dies sinnvoll ist oder nicht.
Category Archives: Wheezes
French wine (in France)
At last an end to locally-bought French wines that taste rather unpleasant misery
Like many Brits of my age, I grew up with the ingrained belief that French wine was the quality yardstick in the vinibev department. In fact when I … Continue reading
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ConcertBev
At last: an end to ‘sit in rock-hard pew for two hours waiting for concert to start without an adult bev or lose your place’ misery.
It’s only fair to characterize this one as ‘in progress’, due to the many … Continue reading
Concertcushion
At last an end to aching backside caused by 90 minutes sitting on rock-hard pew at St Martin in the Fields misery.
St Martin in the Fields (on Trafalgar Square) is a little gem for those with an hour to spare … Continue reading